helpful hints for would-be criminals

From today's Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel:

1. If you decide to leave your parked car blasting music - in the wake of loads of publicity about the city's new noise ordinance - it's probably better to do it somewhere other than directly across the street from a police station.

2. Also, leaving a gun stuffed between the seats of said car will increase the officers' interest in your vehicle.

3. Leaving drugs in such a vehicle is too complicated. You should instead gift-wrap them and deliver them, with a nice card bearing your name, directly to the police station. This saves the police the minor effort they had to expend of asking around to see who owned the car with the drugs, the gun, and the loud music blasting.