too much typing—since 2003

9.03.2005

marketing people are different from you or me

1.) Apparently, no product is too mundane to be flung at hyperenergetic, desperately-trying-to-be-hip teens: presenting, "X-treme White Bread." I saw a loaf of this in a display at the grocery store - I couldn't find any more info on it other than the photo I've linked to (thank you, apparently very tall Flickr subscriber...). The photo doesn't quite convey the shiny silveriness of the packaging - which, I imagine, is supposed to look all sleek and cool but in fact looks cheap, as if it will tear at the slightest stress. Oh - and it's been a while since I've bought a loaf of pre-sliced generic white bread, but...do they all say "do not place package in microwave" now? I mean, what sort of bozo tries to mic an entire loaf of bread at once?

2.) Who knew that a several-thousand year-old religious system's most intricate, mysterious symbology would wind up as an overpriced can of jacked-up sugar water? Presenting: Kabbalah Energy Drink (warning: annoyingly loud, Flash-intensive site). As ridiculous as the very concept is, it gets better: according to this site, who did its manufacturers tap as the drink's spokesperson? The noted rabbinical authority Ashton Kutcher, that's who. (It also gets even more ridiculous when you realize that - how to put this - these folks are serious about the mystical powers of their Red Bull imitating product.)

2 comments:

Editrix said...

Not to defend the name, packaging, or folks who dreamed it up, but this is an example of the new white bread baked from hard white wheat flour (as opposed to hard red wheat, which is what most bread in the US is baked with). This new variety (purportedly) has the nutritional value of traditional whole-wheat flour made from red wheat, but retains the color, sweeter flavor, and sponginess that kids (supposedly) prefer. ConAgra's white wheat flour is called Ultragrain and is used in a variety of products, including The Max pizza, while Wonder has a White Bread Fans 100% whole grain product. Farmer Direct Foods markets theirs as "Natural s'Wheat," which brings to mind another product entirely.

Editrix said...

It looks like the X-treme crew got their target market right.