too much typing—since 2003



Sorry, no Rush content.

Anyway: on our trip up to my sister's place in Minneapolis for two nephews' birthdays last weekend, we noticed a billboard for some housing subdivision named "Whispering Woods" or something like that.

And it occurred to me, who the hell wants the woods whispering at them all the time? I mean, you're gonna get kinda paranoid if the woods keeps the whispering going at all hours: if it's whispering to you, you can be sure it's whispering to everybody else too. And just what is wrong with a little peace and quiet? You'd think there'd be a market for folks who just want the woods to stand there and be pretty-like, without all the superfluously alliterative whispering going on.

So I think I'm going to buy up a parcel of woodlands somewhere, then slap up a billboard offering lots for sale at my new development, a development marketed toward folks who don't want the woods gossiping, prompting forgetful actors, or any other sort of whispering noises.

I'll call it Shut-the-Fuck-Up Woods - that'll sell pretty well, methinks.


velvet lane said...

I think they mean "whispering" as opposed to shouting. It represents an alternative to, a respite from, the loudness of urban existence. Also, it sometimes whispers the names of winning ponies, so pay attention!

2fs said...

True - when that thoroughbred Ssshhhfffwwww won the Triple Crown, I'd've won a fortune if only I'd been paying attention.