in which the author descends to cattily dissing unnamed local minor celebrities

For all I know, he could be a really wonderful great guy in person - but a certain local art personality (whom I'm not naming, since local readers will know whom I'm talking about, and no one else will care) seems determined in his public gestures to come across as rather a dickhead.

Let's see...first, there's the grandstanding temper tantrum of closing his art gallery and resigning his leadership of a local arts organization over the approval of a bronze statue of The Fonz slated for downtown Milwaukee. Now the idea of this statue is as painfully tacky to me as it is to anyone else...but people who are confident that they do in fact live in a real city would recognize that, hey, idiots live everywhere (even in Paris or New York), and sometimes those idiots will impose their dull and inane tastes on everyone else. (Like honoring a character fictitiously from a Milwaukee whose residents speak in suspiciously Brooklyn-esque cadences.) Much smarter just to ignore it.

And now here's this guy in an interview in the local edition of The Onion's A.V. Club (which doesn't appear to exist online) proclaiming that among his latest "art" projects is that he's started smoking. Uh, okay: do something stupid, obnoxious, and harmful that no one in the world will be impressed by; call it "art," and hope there are a few suckers who'll fall for it. His other art project? "Taking pictures of [him]self in tighty-whities." Well...surely no one's ever done that before either. I really shouldn't mention the pink-dyed Dairy Queen faux-hawk, but what the hell: pink-dyed Dairy Queen faux-hawk.

I'm sorta hoping this whole thing is part of a huge performance piece: you know, "I've been acting like a big pretentious idiot and you all fell for my 'art' ha-ha."

brief message: bird in a bag

Several new (or new-ish) songs have grabbed my ears lately (ow.), and so I thought I'd pass them along. They don't really have anything in common other than that I've been paying each of them a lot of attention recently.

First, people really should remember A Flock of Seagulls for something other than the singer's utterly ridiculous hair. (And the bad band name.) Because while "I Ran" (hopefully John McCain won't ruin that song, too) isn't a bad little song, but two lesser hits, "Wishing (If I Had a Photograph of You)" and "Space Age Love Song," are even better. Somewhere, I think I have the two LPs those tracks are from - but for now, you'll have to make do with this excellent cover of "Space Age Love Song" from Brief Candles - who are, as I found out after hearing the track, fellow Milwaukeeans. (The band name links to their myspace site, if those bug you.)

Brief Candles is, of course, named after the Zombies song of the same name - and while that band doesn't sound much like the Zombies, England's the Hidden Messages kinda do. There's a similar yearning, soaring quality to the vocals, and the songs are as exquisitely arranged as those on the world's most famous misspelled album, Odessey and Oracle. Here's a new song from the Hidden Messages, "As If."

I don't know if there are any hidden messages in the lyrics to Love Psychedelico's "Standing Bird" (groan...yes, I am going to arbitrarily find links among each of the bands today...) but they rather sound as if they were composed by taking lyrics in the band's native language, Japanese, and finding phonetically similar English words to take their place. At first I thought the words were in another language. Funky, old-school analog keyboard, too.

Speaking of old-school and analog, you call your band "Phonograph" and you're creating certain expectations. The actual band Phonograph sort of fulfills them: you've got a country feel and a powerful steel guitar sound...but along with that, an experimental/electronic streak that makes some of their songs just a bit stranger than you might expect, such as "Paper Bag" (this version from the band's recent Daytrotter session), which is more country-lunar than country-western.

Brief Candles "Space Age Love Song" (They Live We Sleep, 2006)
The Hidden Messages "As If" (band website, 2008)
Love Psychedelico "Standing Bird" (This Is Love Psychedelico, 2008)
Phonograph "Paper Bag" (Daytrotter session, May 27, 2008)

crosstalk

I'm no longer of any particular religious faith, but I was raised a Christian. And sometimes I see certain products marketed by or to Christians, and I ask myself, what were they thinking?

For example, earlier today at a candy shop in the Milwaukee Public Market I saw an enormous chocolate cross - about 8" high, say. Yes, consider that your Lord Jesus Christ suffered and died for you to absolve your sins - now, in remembrance of His sacrifice, enjoy this yummy chocolate replica of the implement of His torture. Wha-?

Or these little items: I guess these cute little fluffy crosses might be an ideal way to introduce toddlers to the Christian faith - just as Jesus can comfort you in your time of sorrow, these cuddly crosses are smooth and velvety and pillowlike. (Not intended for actual crucifixion.)

Probably much more intrinsically offensive than either of the above, though, are the bumper stickers that make of religion essentially just another product - by borrowing well-known commercial catchphrases and adapting Christian messages. "Things Go Better With Christ!" "Got Jesus?" etc. I seem to recall reading that Jesus and the folks who were bringing the marketplace into the temple didn't get along so well...

Steve is aware of all internet traditions

Yes, he is.

George W. Bush is aware of all internet traditions, because when you have awareness of traditions of the internet, that's what it means.

Finally, Sen. Ted Stevens (R-AK) is aware only of traditions relating to big trucks.

(Look - I'm just doing my part as a citizen of the Wobbly Worldy Webly to spread its memes. Memetic imperative, you know...)

presidential hit parade

It's that time of year: two tracks have recently come my way, both coincidentally memorializing former US presidents. The first one, in fact, is from a project whose goal was to write a song about every US president (tentatively to be released under the title Of Great and Mortal Men). I'm sure some of the more obscure ones were quite a challenge, whereas some of your better-known presidents were difficult for opposed reasons: too much has already been said. You can read more about this project here...but they've received contributions from some interesting musicians: Califone, Jamie Stewart from Xiu Xiu, Bill Callahan (f/k/a Smog), and Alan Sparhawk (Low) and Mark Kozelek...those last two together. Here's Marla Hansen, along with songwriters Christian Kiefer, Matthew Gerken, and Jefferson Pitcher, with probably the only song written in the 21st century about our fifth president, James Monroe: "The Last Cocked Hat."

Unlike James Monroe, our 37th president quite possibly has been mentioned in more rock songs than any other president: I refer, of course, to Richard M. Nixon, here addressed in a new song by Negativland, "Richard Nixon Died Last Night." I use the word "song" advisedly: while much of Negativland's work is much better described with words like "collage," "experimental," or "composition," on their forthcoming album Thigmotactic (the word is defined in the press release as "needing to keep in contact with the world around it") is primarily song-based. While key Negativland member Mark Hosler has written actual songs on occasion for past releases, this time he's focused primarily on songs, although Negativland's usual cutup approach to sound here manifests itself subtly in the arrangements and production, and more overtly in the lyrics, cadged together from disparate sources including personal journals, ads, and back issues of National Geographic. (All this per the press release, of course. Then again, Negativland's prior release came with press releases trumpeting their discovery of a five-person a cappella gospel group from Detroit...did you believe that one?) Regardless, "Richard Nixon Died Last Night" is assuredly a song.

Looks like I'll have to get going to complete my prog-rock concept album on Franklin Pierce...

Christian Kiefer, Matthew Gerken, and Jefferson Pitcher ft. Marla Hansen "James Monroe: The Last Cocked Hat" (Of Great and Mortal Men, forthcoming 2008)
Negativland "Richard Nixon Died Last Night" (Thigmotactic, forthcoming 2008)

give money, help kids - get free music

Sound like a good deal?

Scott Miller, ex-Game Theory and once (and future?) leader of The Loud Family, has recorded a cover of Chris Stamey's song "Cara Lee." It will be made available as a free download...but there's a catch. Here's the word from 125 Records:

One of our favorite charities here at 125 HQ is DonorsChoose.org, which is dedicated to addressing the scarcity and inequitable distribution of learning materials and experiences in our public schools. Since the Loud Family's Scott Miller is the father of two young girls, it seemed like a cool idea to team up with Scott to raise money for DonorsChoose. He's come through with a wonderful cover of Chris Stamey's song "Cara Lee." I have the MP3 on my hard drive... and once this DonorsChoose project has been funded (it requires $403), it will be uploaded to loudfamily.com as a FREE download!

That link again: http://www.donorschoose.org/donors/proposal.html?id=179379&verify=-1660135637&zone=402

a little dap'll do ya

I was getting the oil changed and tires rotated on our Mazda today, and since I'd forgotten to bring along my own reading material, I was paging through an issue of Newsweek to pass the time. Although I can't find a reference online (update - I found it: the writer's name is Devin Gordon, and here's a link), a little item from a recent issue struck me as a perfect illustration of the way some Americans are incredibly small-minded, and why Barack Obama has an uphill battle not necessarily against conscious prejudice as such but against the sort of racism that's enculturated so deeply it's barely recognizable as a thought.

The item that occasioned this thought was a short comment about all the publicity attending Barack and Michelle Obama's fist bump prior to his nomination speech. The writer said that with all that publicity, they'll never be able to do that again, since it would seem contrived, stagey, etc.

And I thought, really? Michelle Robinson Obama grew up in a primarily black neighborhood in Chicago, and Barack Obama lived and worked in similar neighborhoods for much of his life. The fist bump or "dap" is an established and normal aspect of black American culture (and not just black American culture), so it's entirely possible that the famous (or infamous, if you're a Fox News imbecile) dap was completely spontaneous.

But here's the thing: If Mr. White Guy from a Good Home in a Good Suburb is nominated for his party's presidential ticket, and he hugs his wife, or shakes hands with a close friend or advisor, no one makes anything of it. Certainly no one suggests that, you know, since he shook hands at that moment, he won't be able to do it again, because that would imply that he's just trying to repeat the moment of hand-shaking that generated all that publicity.

Because, of course, a white guy shaking another white guy's hand would generate no publicity at all. It's considered utterly normal, totally unremarkable, not worthy of any press at all. And that, obviously, is because shaking hands is so integral a part of white male business and political culture (and not just white culture) that it's about as worthy of notice as the fact that a politician was wearing a suit and tie.

I doubt that our Newsweek columnist is a bigot - yet his arch little observation about the showbizzy nature of politics illustrates the way racism can persist, in the form of "othering" those whose actions, speech, or thoughts seem alien to us. (I was about to remove that "us" - since it repeats the same thing I'm complaining about...but I'm leaving it, because my point is not that this middle-class white guy is better than everyone else, but that even when we're trying to not act like a jerk sometimes these little things poke through.)

The problem Obama faces is that for parochial Americans, black culture just is not "American culture." Increasingly, in fact, "American culture" is only what's comfortable and familiar to some sort of vaguely middle- and working-class white suburban cohort - too much education, any sort of unusual tastes (latte, arugula, ad nauseam), and you're no longer a "real" American. And Obama confounds these folks further both by being black and by being a Harvard Law grad: for such increasingly narrowcast "Americans," that notion simply does not compute.

The dangers of such parochialism are not just hypothetical, nor are they only an anomaly faced by this year's Democratic presidential nominee. Law professor Jacqueline Stevens points out that panic over immigration effectively votes Latino/as off Citizenship Island, even if they are citizens: although the law says that the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Agency (ICE) has no jurisdiction over US citizens, Stevens outlines numerous cases in which citizens were caught up in ICE sweeps and imprisoned, sometimes for years, until they could prove citizenship. So much for "innocent until proven guilty."

Stevens also notes a disturbing and little-noted aspect of America's grotesquely high rates of imprisonment: a 2006 Justice Department report says that "about 40 percent of the incarcerated population has 'symptoms of mania,'" and nearly one-quarter of inmates suffer from psychotic disorders. Those with untreated mental illness are far likelier to make poor decisions when confronted with law enforcement, and of course their illness, poverty, and (often) racial or ethnic identity limit their employment options. It is unsurprising that many such people end up committing crimes.

Fortunately, no one takes seriously Fox News' suggestion that the Obamas' dap was a "terrorist handshake." Other people who don't fit in that sort of definition of "American" are not so fortunate.

I did not see the black man I pushed in front of that bus, officer - I am color-blind

Some friends and I were talking over dinner the other night, and the question of whether race would be a decisive factor in the upcoming election came up. While we were cautiously optimistic that it might not, one of us pointed out that if it did, at least it would be increasingly difficult to deny the ongoing persistence of racism, however "politely" it might present itself.

Of course, then there's Fox News. Anyone with a brain ought to recognize that their credibility's about on a level with the late, lamented Weekly World News: I mean, "terrorist handshake"? And then there's Michelle Malkin, twisting logic into impossible, Escheresque knots trying to explain that, hey, referring to Michelle Obama with the phrase "baby mama" is, you know, not at all offensive. (Great column here on that...via The Angry Black Woman.)

Politeness be damned: Fuck you, Michelle Malkin; fuck you, Fox News; fuck you, anyone else spreading this race-baiting manure, who knows exactly what they're doing.

fool's errand #3,754

Someone, somewhere, way back in 2003, entered the title of the eleventh track of the Wrens' third album, the much-praised and lengthily delayed release called The Meadowlands, incorrectly - as "Everyone Chooses Sides" (i.e., mundane statement describing situation implicitly calling on character to do so) rather than "Everyone Choose Sides" (i.e., imperative: to be done, right now - with somewhat sarcastic implication as to advisibility of so doing) - and due to its prominence at allmusic.com among other sites, it is now almost impossible to see the title listed correctly. Every online database I've seen lists it incorrectly, so when you insert the CD there it is: the wrong title. (Hoorah for amazon.com, which gets it right, and Wikipedia likewise (although I have a vague memory that I might been the one to have corrected it there...), and boo for allmusic.com. I submitted an error report to allmusic.com - but who knows what good it'll do, with the bad info perpetuating throughout the web and into everyone's mp3 collection.

Yes, I know.

Meanwhile, Charles and the lads are in a molasses-pouring race with Axl Rose and company to see whose next album can come out last...

RIYLTN*

I continue to be easily amused, this time by random web-based recommendation systems. For some reason, following upon a mention of Porter Waggoner's "Carroll County Accident" in LD Beghtol's fabulous concordance to The Magnetic Fields' 69 Love Songs, I found myself looking up that song's lyrics; found a site with lyrics to that track, "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia," and "Ode to Billie Joe"; and from that thought of other early '70s songs with rather bizarrely dramatic narrative situations, which led me first to Freda Payne's "Band of Gold" and then to "Timothy" by the Buoys (apparently written intentionally to get banned and thereby increase sales, by the same guy who later wrote "The Pina Colada Song").

Anyway, at this site containing comments on the lyrics to "Timothy," an ad suggests other songs I'd like based on my presumably liking that song. The songs? "Old Man" by Neil Young, "Ain't No Sunshine" by Bill Withers, and..."The Revealing Science of God" by Yes.

Because, you know, people who like hit singles from the early '70s are also likely to enjoy a 20-plus minute prog-rock epic.

* stands for "recommended if you're like totally nuts"

O Atlantis!

I've been busy with lots of stuff, and next week I'm going on vacation (although I'll have my laptop with me), but I thought I'd post an oldie here, inspired by the recent review of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? at the Onion's A.V. Club. (Please note: the title is not "Whatever Happened to Baby Jane" - as if the idea were that it doesn't much matter what happened to Baby Jane - it's "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?": that is, we don't know what happened, but we want to know. Also: "never mind" is two words, not one.)

I wrote this several years ago for the Loud Family/Game Theory mailing list, during one of the periodic resurgences of interest in the alleged synchronicities between Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon and The Wizard of Oz. Having sync'd up the movie and the CD per instructions, it seemed to me that the "amazing!" coincidences people were seeing were simply a matter of looking for similarities – or grasping so hard for them that shoulders were doubtlessly dislocated in the process.

I decided to pick a movie nearly at random and see what happened when I sync'd it up with Game Theory's classic (and, shamefully, out of print) Lolita Nation. Sure enough, gobs of incredibly coincidental events revealed themselves, persuading me – who also believes 9/11 was forecast in scenes depicted when you fold American money, and that you, reader, have a fantastic deal for me to purchase a well-known bridge in Brooklyn – that Scott Miller and cohorts wrote the album as a secret soundtrack to the movie I chose, What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?. Here's the proof:

The most obvious proof is, of course, the fact that if you sync up the very beginning of Lolita Nation to the initial appearance of the title card of What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? that reads "1917," the title phrase of Lolita Nation (from the song "We Love You, Carol and Alison") is sung just when the title of the film appears on the screen.

Want more?

1. Several cuts in Lolita Nation's opening sound collage "Kenneth - What's the Frequency?" correspond to cuts in the film: the first appearance of the little girl corresponds to the first guitar chord, the clown in the film is sync'd with the next image, and the bells on the recording sync up with the image of a horse-drawn truck in the film.

2. Baby Jane dances in time with the music of "Not Because You Can." She begins to sing just at the song's guitar break. At the words "a show of hands," Baby Jane raises her hands to toss a paper into the air. The song ends just as Baby Jane's dance numbers end. (And of course, the line "eyes of green" in "Not Because You Can" signifies the film's theme of jealousy.)

3. The creepy doll's initial appearance corresponds with "Shard" ("close out sound and sight").

4. As Scott Miller sings "dripping with looks," the young Blanche gives a dirty look.

5. The line "private heaven" is sung while two characters in the film attend a private screening of a film.

6. At one point during "Exactly What We Don't Want to Hear," there are two backing vocalists and one lead singer - the film shows two men in a theater, and one man in the projectionist's booth.

7. Shortly after the line "well-trained ears," a chorus girl passes by with huge, ear-like feathers atop her head.

8. Shortly after the line "the sugar was dazzling" ("We Love You Carol and Alison"), another chorus girl walks past the characters - in a dazzling, sparkly outfit.

9. Just as Donnette Thayer sings "take a seat in our dream car" in the backing vocals, Blanche's white car appears (a contrast to the line of black cars that precedes it).

10. Right when the man on the right of the screen smiles, the line "with the smile" is sung.

11. Just as Scott Miller sings about "the shoulder upstairs," the credits - indicating those folks "upstairs" who actually control things, like the studio, director, etc. – begin.

12. Both titles occur simultaneously.

13. The film comes to the present moment ("YESTERDAY" caption) just as the first line of "The Waist and the Knees" is sung.

14. As Scott Miller sings about a "fantasy dreamed of," two characters on a TV screen kiss.

15. Gil Ray's big drum hit (just before the silence) coordinates with the cut away from the TV screen.

16. There's a shot of trees in the background as Scott sings about "rings of smoke through the trees." (Unconfirmed reports have it that in the background of the film, if you look closely, you can see an extra killing herself by jumping from a passing aircraft...a zeppelin! And of course, the lyric is a quote from Led Zeppelin.)

17. There's a painting of a big-eyed child holding a cat in the background - just as the band makes weird cat-like noises during the breaks in "The Waist and the Knees."

18. As Scott Miller sings "no place you can go," a television screen in the movie shows a shot of a man confined to a bed.

19. Cut to an exterior shot...just as Scott Miller sings "on the outs" ("Nothing New").

20. Scott Miller sings "you can't walk" - and the film shows a shot of Joan Crawford in a wheelchair.

21. Joan Crawford picks up a phone - Scott Miller sings "I'm going to phone you" ("The Real Sheila").

22. As Crawford closes a door - wait! Donnette Thayer sings "it was an open door" (irony!). But then...she sings "windows opened" - and Crawford's at an open (but barred) window. Plus - there are shots of a garden – and all this is during...the song "Mammoth Gardens."

Whew! Of course there are more - you have to start the CD over again, but I'll leave all the other clues to others. Further, no one has ever bothered to explain "why choose The Wizard of Oz as the movie to soundtrack with Dark Side of the Moon?" But the reason Miller chose What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? as the template for Lolita Nation is so obvious, it hardly needs explaining - but in case anyone can't figure it out, here goes:

A simple manipulation of obvious numerological cues (rather like that used by the authors of The Bible Code) makes clear why this album was chosen to sync up so hauntingly with this film. First, the movie was released in 1962. Disregarding the century year, that gives us "62" - and 6+2=8. Lolita Nation was released in 1987. Again disregarding the century, that gives us "87" - 8+7=15, and 1+5=6. Now 8-6=2...and recalling that Scott Miller, born in 1960, was 27 in 1987, 27-2=25.

Recall that the bulk of the film is set in "Yesterday" - that is, 1962. 1987-1962 gives us 25 again. Plus, subtracting Scott Miller's age at the time of Lolita Nation from the "current day" of the film (1962-27) gives us 1935: the year of the car "accident" in the movie. There's more, of course: the opening scene is set in 1917. Note that 1+7=8, 3+5=8 (1935), and 6+2=...of course, 8. And what is 8x3? That's right: 24 - a Scott Miller song!

Everything in this post is true - try it for yourself!

47 miles of barbed wire

Bo Diddley, who died the other day, was quite possibly the first "underground" rock star. He never had a top-ten hit single, and he was far better known among musicians and critics than among the general public. Of course, he's best known for the eponymous beat (which apparently derives from West African sources) which, along with his characteristic tremolo guitar tone and maracas-led percussion, shows up in hundreds of songs.

Here's a slightly obscure Bo Diddley tune, "Pretty Thing," followed by two of my favorite examples of the Bo Diddley beat: Bruce Springsteen's "She's the One" and "Cuban Slide" by the Pretenders.

virtual tag

In his blog Nervous Unto Thirst, Franklin Bruno writes that while he's not going to tag anyone, he's still willing to fill out the following meme, rather more interesting than "if you were any character on Star Trek, who would you be?":

1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.

I will follow suit and not annoy others - but feel free to do this one if you're bored.

Here's my results. The book is Robertson Davies' Fifth Business, the Penguin paperback edition, and the sentences are:

Even the vast cemeteries woke no feeling in me; because they were so big I lost all sense that they contained men who, had they lived, would have been about my age. I got out as soon as I had scoured Passchendaele for some sign of the place where I had been wounded, and where I had encountered the little Madonna. Nobody I could find was of any use in suggesting where I might have been; the new town had probably buried it under streets and houses.

gee baby g

I've always found it curious not only that lower-case "g" has two rather distinct formal variants (as does lower-case "a") but that the variant generally found in serif fonts (and in many sans serif fonts) is quite possibly the most elaborate typographic form in the Roman alphabet. Take a look: the loop of the top part of the letterform extends from the top of the letter's x-height to between half and two-thirds of the way down to baseline (depending on typeface), after which a rather indecisive descender cuts left, veers right, then closes in on itself (or nearly so). Oh, and if that's not enough, the upper right portion of the top loop has grown an ear.

Unsurprisingly, even this particular variant form varies quite a bit from typeface to typeface. (My example is Bodoni.) The relation between the two loops, in size and relative position, the elaboration of the "ear," whether the lower loop is open or closed - all differ depending on typeface.

In some typefaces, the "double-story" lower-case "g" rather resembles a face in profile, with glasses and hair flowing back from the forehead and the mouth open. What is this character saying? It's obvious: "Yo, G."

Florida brings the stupid

Note to Florida schools: Those Harry Potter books? They're fiction. There's actually no such thing as "wizardry."

If there were, Satan and his minions would surely find better things to do than have a substitute teacher use it to distract middle-school students.

Note that the article does claim that the teacher was fired supposedly for more reasons than just his "wizardry." But c'mon: even if that's true, the idea that actual adults with real jobs would seriously use such an accusation as even part of the reason for firing someone...

All I can say is, it's a good thing he weighs more than a duck.